So I am sitting here watching Loony Tunes wondering about the craziness of life and coming to the conclusion . My youngest woke up last night with a flu bug that had been going around the household. About a half hour after ringing in the new year of 2012, and apparently Gavin already doesn't approve. I suppose its only a few more days before the oldest gets it because you know sharing is caring. My Mom and Step Pops and little Brother are here visiting from Reno. Really the timing of everything couldn't be better. This is the true joys of Parenthood. When your strung out tired from being up all night, catching barf, cleaning barf, smelling barf, you realize somewhere in there that things are bigger than you. More important than yourself, because a good parent never stops. You want to sometimes, believe me you want to throw in the towel and say I can't do this. It takes too much of me. It's scary to be completely vulnerable and kids will do that to you. They expose every single flaw you have in yourself because these are little tiny minds and bodies that your shaping in your image and frankly I don't feel like I deserve such a privilege sometimes. Who am I to create people, I am a nobody, that has done nothing of terrible importance. I stumble through my day to day life and question every single thing I do as a parent. Is it right, is this the norm, I should do this, I shouldn't do that. It's emotionally exhausting some days but, still we press on.
It's gonna be a long day, I think I need a hug. Going on three hours of sleep and no coffee has made me introspective and really no good can come of that. On a side note watching Loony tunes with Kedrick has made me have small flashbacks of my own childhood and smile a little. Something about old school is just awesome. Cartoons now days suck. Who doesn't love Loony Tunes, Tom and Jerry, and then Duck Tales, Tale Spin, Gummie Bears. Now it's Sponge Bob and that crazy show with the dude and his orange fro. That shit is scary and I refuse to let the kids watch some of it. Anyhoo there is some of my thoughts this first morning of the new year. Gavin just woke up so we are probably gearing up for barf session three.
Keep on keeping on people and remember it's not all about you. Something we All need to remember. I will do my best to post more often in this.
Kelley
