My little boys
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Feeling old.
I feel old. I feel like I have so much worry and stress built up that I don't possibly know how much more I can cram in. I have lost two very important people in my life in the last three years and I think in the back of my mind I feel like I have lost a sense of security I didn't really know I had when they were still here. I know that this is a part of life and of course we have people come and go everyday, but those two people represented a huge chunk of who and why I am the way I am.
What did you just say?
Hey folks,
Long time no post. A few things have changed since the last time I posted...and ironically some things are exactly the same. Mostly sick kids. I have come to accept this as a normal way of living here in S. California. I swear the whole household is more sick than well most of the time. I have turned toy bins into puke bins when needed, and I have tried most of the childrens cough medicine out there. I recommend Zarbees all natural honey cough syrup if your wondering. I know now that if a kid wakes up fairly early when I am still up watching TV or just relaxing and has something going on that once I get them back in bed to go to bed myself. Inevitably, if I do not and stay up late they will be up all night, and me with them. If I go to bed right away I usually get sleep most of the night. Just the nature of things I suppose. So on we battle, amidst colds and flu's and a kidney issue thrown in every once in a while to keep me on my toes.
One major thing that has changed is me being pregnant...again. This time we received a bit of a shock when we went in for my first ultrasound at 20 weeks only to discover there are two babies instead of one...pause for affect. A boy and a girl. I spent the remainder of my appointment in total silence and the walk back to the truck with only a mild panic attack, but I am since doing better and trying my best to prepare for what I can only assume is going to be total and utter chaos. A five year old, a three year old and two newborns. Hahahahahaha...that's nervous laughter btw. The good news is that I just went in for my first twin specialist appointment and the babies look really good. They are both a little over a pound each and everything else looks A-okay. Fingers crossed it stays this way and they continue to gain weight like they should. After extensive research about twins I now know they are often premature and delivered by c-section. Being a mom of two 8lbs babies this totally has me freaked out. Also after delivering both of them normally the thought of having someone hack into my lower regions like I am a Jack the Ripper victim makes me want to vom a little. Yes I know I am being dramatic, but I seriously do not want to have a c-section. I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time, and hope everything will work out the way it is supposed too. Divine plan and all that. My general nature however is to stress and worry something until I'm sick. I can thank my Dad for that one as he was the same way. We have decided on names for the babies. Jovie Marie for our first girl and Jace Steven for the new baby boy. :-) I guess I will try to keep this thing updated for the rest of my pregnancy. I am almost 23 weeks so we have a few months to go.
We have a very quick sprint trip to Nevada coming up next weekend for my little brothers graduation. That makes me feel old. I am very proud of him, he made it through four years at one of the top private schools in Nevada, a feat that I probably would not have been able to accomplish. I love that kid to death and can't wait to cheer him on as he gets his diploma. Lots of family and laughs to follow. It will be Fri driving eight hours and then Sun driving home eight hours, yuck. Wish we could stay longer for that reason. I will take what family time I can get though. I get to miss out on our annual Burney Falls camping trip again this year. Boooo. The best camping trip with friends and family. We go up for a full week and play on the lake and enjoy good company. The first year I went I was pregnant with Gavin but only about three or four months along. The next year I had a two year old and an eight month old, but still had a blast. Our third year the boys were a year and a half and three and a half. I missed last year, could not afford it and it was Jeremy and I 5 year anniversary that same week. This year I had every intention of going until I found out I have not one but two babies in the oven. I am already uncomfortable, I can't imagine another month and a half what I will look and feel like but I can bet I wont want to sleep on a cot for a week. Plus the whole driving eight plus hours by myself that Jeremy and my doctor kinda axed. I will miss out on seeing our good friends and my bestie Mo since they moved to Seattle...sad face. There is always next year though. Nothing like attempting to camp with a six year old a four year old and two almost one year old's. Hahahaha..haha..ha..ha....nervous laughter is back. Good times ahead for the Harding clan, busy, chaotic, good times ahead. :-)
Take care everyone
Long time no post. A few things have changed since the last time I posted...and ironically some things are exactly the same. Mostly sick kids. I have come to accept this as a normal way of living here in S. California. I swear the whole household is more sick than well most of the time. I have turned toy bins into puke bins when needed, and I have tried most of the childrens cough medicine out there. I recommend Zarbees all natural honey cough syrup if your wondering. I know now that if a kid wakes up fairly early when I am still up watching TV or just relaxing and has something going on that once I get them back in bed to go to bed myself. Inevitably, if I do not and stay up late they will be up all night, and me with them. If I go to bed right away I usually get sleep most of the night. Just the nature of things I suppose. So on we battle, amidst colds and flu's and a kidney issue thrown in every once in a while to keep me on my toes.
One major thing that has changed is me being pregnant...again. This time we received a bit of a shock when we went in for my first ultrasound at 20 weeks only to discover there are two babies instead of one...pause for affect. A boy and a girl. I spent the remainder of my appointment in total silence and the walk back to the truck with only a mild panic attack, but I am since doing better and trying my best to prepare for what I can only assume is going to be total and utter chaos. A five year old, a three year old and two newborns. Hahahahahaha...that's nervous laughter btw. The good news is that I just went in for my first twin specialist appointment and the babies look really good. They are both a little over a pound each and everything else looks A-okay. Fingers crossed it stays this way and they continue to gain weight like they should. After extensive research about twins I now know they are often premature and delivered by c-section. Being a mom of two 8lbs babies this totally has me freaked out. Also after delivering both of them normally the thought of having someone hack into my lower regions like I am a Jack the Ripper victim makes me want to vom a little. Yes I know I am being dramatic, but I seriously do not want to have a c-section. I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time, and hope everything will work out the way it is supposed too. Divine plan and all that. My general nature however is to stress and worry something until I'm sick. I can thank my Dad for that one as he was the same way. We have decided on names for the babies. Jovie Marie for our first girl and Jace Steven for the new baby boy. :-) I guess I will try to keep this thing updated for the rest of my pregnancy. I am almost 23 weeks so we have a few months to go.
We have a very quick sprint trip to Nevada coming up next weekend for my little brothers graduation. That makes me feel old. I am very proud of him, he made it through four years at one of the top private schools in Nevada, a feat that I probably would not have been able to accomplish. I love that kid to death and can't wait to cheer him on as he gets his diploma. Lots of family and laughs to follow. It will be Fri driving eight hours and then Sun driving home eight hours, yuck. Wish we could stay longer for that reason. I will take what family time I can get though. I get to miss out on our annual Burney Falls camping trip again this year. Boooo. The best camping trip with friends and family. We go up for a full week and play on the lake and enjoy good company. The first year I went I was pregnant with Gavin but only about three or four months along. The next year I had a two year old and an eight month old, but still had a blast. Our third year the boys were a year and a half and three and a half. I missed last year, could not afford it and it was Jeremy and I 5 year anniversary that same week. This year I had every intention of going until I found out I have not one but two babies in the oven. I am already uncomfortable, I can't imagine another month and a half what I will look and feel like but I can bet I wont want to sleep on a cot for a week. Plus the whole driving eight plus hours by myself that Jeremy and my doctor kinda axed. I will miss out on seeing our good friends and my bestie Mo since they moved to Seattle...sad face. There is always next year though. Nothing like attempting to camp with a six year old a four year old and two almost one year old's. Hahahaha..haha..ha..ha....nervous laughter is back. Good times ahead for the Harding clan, busy, chaotic, good times ahead. :-)
Take care everyone
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year Same ol' Stuff
So I am sitting here watching Loony Tunes wondering about the craziness of life and coming to the conclusion . My youngest woke up last night with a flu bug that had been going around the household. About a half hour after ringing in the new year of 2012, and apparently Gavin already doesn't approve. I suppose its only a few more days before the oldest gets it because you know sharing is caring. My Mom and Step Pops and little Brother are here visiting from Reno. Really the timing of everything couldn't be better. This is the true joys of Parenthood. When your strung out tired from being up all night, catching barf, cleaning barf, smelling barf, you realize somewhere in there that things are bigger than you. More important than yourself, because a good parent never stops. You want to sometimes, believe me you want to throw in the towel and say I can't do this. It takes too much of me. It's scary to be completely vulnerable and kids will do that to you. They expose every single flaw you have in yourself because these are little tiny minds and bodies that your shaping in your image and frankly I don't feel like I deserve such a privilege sometimes. Who am I to create people, I am a nobody, that has done nothing of terrible importance. I stumble through my day to day life and question every single thing I do as a parent. Is it right, is this the norm, I should do this, I shouldn't do that. It's emotionally exhausting some days but, still we press on.
It's gonna be a long day, I think I need a hug. Going on three hours of sleep and no coffee has made me introspective and really no good can come of that. On a side note watching Loony tunes with Kedrick has made me have small flashbacks of my own childhood and smile a little. Something about old school is just awesome. Cartoons now days suck. Who doesn't love Loony Tunes, Tom and Jerry, and then Duck Tales, Tale Spin, Gummie Bears. Now it's Sponge Bob and that crazy show with the dude and his orange fro. That shit is scary and I refuse to let the kids watch some of it. Anyhoo there is some of my thoughts this first morning of the new year. Gavin just woke up so we are probably gearing up for barf session three.
Keep on keeping on people and remember it's not all about you. Something we All need to remember. I will do my best to post more often in this.
Kelley
It's gonna be a long day, I think I need a hug. Going on three hours of sleep and no coffee has made me introspective and really no good can come of that. On a side note watching Loony tunes with Kedrick has made me have small flashbacks of my own childhood and smile a little. Something about old school is just awesome. Cartoons now days suck. Who doesn't love Loony Tunes, Tom and Jerry, and then Duck Tales, Tale Spin, Gummie Bears. Now it's Sponge Bob and that crazy show with the dude and his orange fro. That shit is scary and I refuse to let the kids watch some of it. Anyhoo there is some of my thoughts this first morning of the new year. Gavin just woke up so we are probably gearing up for barf session three.
Keep on keeping on people and remember it's not all about you. Something we All need to remember. I will do my best to post more often in this.
Kelley
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Hello Folks,
Well another day in the life of. Things are going pretty good here at Chaos Ranch. I made good on my word and finished my art room, weeeeee. Just in time too because I am totally addicted to Knitting right now and have started to build up a decent supply of yarn and knitting supplies. I have visited a place in Ventura called Anacapa Fine Yarns which was probably a bad idea because now I know what decent yarn feels like. The only problem is its a wee bit pricey. BOOO. So I compromised and found Micheal's...I love that place! Better yarn than crappy Walmart and still somewhat in my price range. We have a trip coming up and I am hoping to find out if I can take my knitting needles with me on the plane. Keep your fingers crossed because it would definitely help pass the down time. I have some knit hand warmers that I have been working on and a blanket that I will start after that. They have lots of workshops and classes at Anacapa all summer so maybe I can get in on one of those. It would be nice to actually get some help from a real person than trying to figure out techniques from youtube videos. :-)Also going on is week three of our Thirty Day Challenge. Dun Dun Dun! We have taken out flour and sugar in our diets. If you really start paying attention to what you eat you will know that that leaves you with fruit, vegetables and protien...that's it. Our refrigerator has NEVER seen so many healthy items in it and I could not be happier. I am sooo proud of my husband for embracing this change that we needed. Without him I don't think I could do it. The first week was hard but fun trying to come up with new foods to eat besides pasta and processed crap filled food. It is so much easier for me to figure out what to make for dinner. Fruit, vegetable, protien...that's it. I forgot how much I LOVE fruit. Strawberries right now are AWESOME down here and they taste like heaven. That's usually our dessert. Gavin and I can eat a whole cantaloupe in a day together and Watermelon has replaced chips. :-) I never feel full and crappy about myself. Yes I am still plenty overweight but I feel so positive that I am on the right track that it does not bother me. I KNOW I will get down there with the changes I have made. In three weeks I have dropped 16 pounds and I am still counting. I get out and play with the boys outside more, and instead of watching them play, I join in. Tag, kickball, cartwheels. I actually did a roundoff yesterday. I have not done one of those for longer than I care to admit. I am teaching Kedrick how to play Volleyball, hoping that if he gets the hang of it I will have someone to pepper with someday. I am trying to talk Jeremy into buying a trampoline. Now that we have grass I would love to get a trampoline to play on. I grew up with trampolines and fully think the boys should too. Great exercise and tons of fun. Plus they come super safe now days with nets and pads so I would have no problem letting little boys go nuts on it. Maybe for Christmas. I can proudly say I have not had any sugary anything for three weeks. I have cravings still for sure. I really want to make homemade ice cream, especially since I found all the parts to our ice cream maker. I think after our thirty days I will try it with raw sugar and see how that does. We are definitely sticking with this way of eating and little treats here and there will be so much more worth it. I also still have my two cups of coffee every morning but as Jared says about his cheese, you can pry my coffee out of my cold dead hands :-)
Lets see, what else do I want to ramble about. The boys are doing good. They are mischievous boys that love to get in trouble when I am not watching. They push the limits of being safe and I am thinking that one or both of them will be stunt guys, daredevils or something similar to that when they grow up. Nothing is too high to climb, or jump off of, which doesn't phase their Dad at all. I on the other hand have a tendency to overreact and I have to watch myself to just let them figure it out as they go. I know I drive everybody crazy with my inability to just chill once in a while. Its a learning process and I am sure by the time they are both teenagers, nothing will bother me...Hopefully
I want to start a movie review on here too. I love watching movies and not that anybody wants to hear my two cents, I decided that I will give it anyway :-)
The last movie I watched was Machete. This movie had a Tarantino feel to it and was over the top bloody. Tons of big names in it, Robert DeNero, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Segal and the awesome Danny Trejo as Machete. The story line is a Federale agent(Danny Trejo) gets double crossed by his boss (Steven Segal) who by the way was funny as crap in this movie and probably the only decent thing he has done. Anyhoo Segal kills Machetes wife and thus lays the revenge plot for the rest of the movie. He goes on to be set up by the same guy to kill a Texas senator but plans go awry and he is able to go on a bloody rapage of revenge also being joined by Jessica Alba who plays a Immigration agent and Michelle Rodriguez who plays Luz or SHE who helps immigrants get on their feet. Danny Trejo gets with almost every female in this movie and hacks at almost every bad guy with his ridiculously awesome Machete. Oh I forgot to mention that Lindsey Lohan was also in this as a drugged out spoiled daughter, which I thought was funny cause it wasn't too far from her real life. This movie is definitely not for everybody but if you like to see shit get blown up, crazy fight scenes and a semi serious plot with comedic relief throughout than this is right up your ally. Be aware there is a few nude scenes.
I did also get to go see the movie Bridesmaids in the theater which was hysterically funny and one I am buying on blue ray when it comes out. I was checking out trailers this morning and there looks like some fun stuff coming out. They remade Footloose which I'm not sure how I feel about and yet another Shrek spin off. This one is called Puss N Boots and compared to Shrek 4 might actually be funny. Also took some interest in 50/50 with Seth Rogen who I LOVE. About his friend who gets cancer. Anyhoo Lots of good stuff coming out.
Well my peeps I suppose I have rambled long enough. Time to get going and get something done around here. Stay sane and play nice! Kelley OUT!!
Well another day in the life of. Things are going pretty good here at Chaos Ranch. I made good on my word and finished my art room, weeeeee. Just in time too because I am totally addicted to Knitting right now and have started to build up a decent supply of yarn and knitting supplies. I have visited a place in Ventura called Anacapa Fine Yarns which was probably a bad idea because now I know what decent yarn feels like. The only problem is its a wee bit pricey. BOOO. So I compromised and found Micheal's...I love that place! Better yarn than crappy Walmart and still somewhat in my price range. We have a trip coming up and I am hoping to find out if I can take my knitting needles with me on the plane. Keep your fingers crossed because it would definitely help pass the down time. I have some knit hand warmers that I have been working on and a blanket that I will start after that. They have lots of workshops and classes at Anacapa all summer so maybe I can get in on one of those. It would be nice to actually get some help from a real person than trying to figure out techniques from youtube videos. :-)Also going on is week three of our Thirty Day Challenge. Dun Dun Dun! We have taken out flour and sugar in our diets. If you really start paying attention to what you eat you will know that that leaves you with fruit, vegetables and protien...that's it. Our refrigerator has NEVER seen so many healthy items in it and I could not be happier. I am sooo proud of my husband for embracing this change that we needed. Without him I don't think I could do it. The first week was hard but fun trying to come up with new foods to eat besides pasta and processed crap filled food. It is so much easier for me to figure out what to make for dinner. Fruit, vegetable, protien...that's it. I forgot how much I LOVE fruit. Strawberries right now are AWESOME down here and they taste like heaven. That's usually our dessert. Gavin and I can eat a whole cantaloupe in a day together and Watermelon has replaced chips. :-) I never feel full and crappy about myself. Yes I am still plenty overweight but I feel so positive that I am on the right track that it does not bother me. I KNOW I will get down there with the changes I have made. In three weeks I have dropped 16 pounds and I am still counting. I get out and play with the boys outside more, and instead of watching them play, I join in. Tag, kickball, cartwheels. I actually did a roundoff yesterday. I have not done one of those for longer than I care to admit. I am teaching Kedrick how to play Volleyball, hoping that if he gets the hang of it I will have someone to pepper with someday. I am trying to talk Jeremy into buying a trampoline. Now that we have grass I would love to get a trampoline to play on. I grew up with trampolines and fully think the boys should too. Great exercise and tons of fun. Plus they come super safe now days with nets and pads so I would have no problem letting little boys go nuts on it. Maybe for Christmas. I can proudly say I have not had any sugary anything for three weeks. I have cravings still for sure. I really want to make homemade ice cream, especially since I found all the parts to our ice cream maker. I think after our thirty days I will try it with raw sugar and see how that does. We are definitely sticking with this way of eating and little treats here and there will be so much more worth it. I also still have my two cups of coffee every morning but as Jared says about his cheese, you can pry my coffee out of my cold dead hands :-)
Lets see, what else do I want to ramble about. The boys are doing good. They are mischievous boys that love to get in trouble when I am not watching. They push the limits of being safe and I am thinking that one or both of them will be stunt guys, daredevils or something similar to that when they grow up. Nothing is too high to climb, or jump off of, which doesn't phase their Dad at all. I on the other hand have a tendency to overreact and I have to watch myself to just let them figure it out as they go. I know I drive everybody crazy with my inability to just chill once in a while. Its a learning process and I am sure by the time they are both teenagers, nothing will bother me...Hopefully
I want to start a movie review on here too. I love watching movies and not that anybody wants to hear my two cents, I decided that I will give it anyway :-)
The last movie I watched was Machete. This movie had a Tarantino feel to it and was over the top bloody. Tons of big names in it, Robert DeNero, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Segal and the awesome Danny Trejo as Machete. The story line is a Federale agent(Danny Trejo) gets double crossed by his boss (Steven Segal) who by the way was funny as crap in this movie and probably the only decent thing he has done. Anyhoo Segal kills Machetes wife and thus lays the revenge plot for the rest of the movie. He goes on to be set up by the same guy to kill a Texas senator but plans go awry and he is able to go on a bloody rapage of revenge also being joined by Jessica Alba who plays a Immigration agent and Michelle Rodriguez who plays Luz or SHE who helps immigrants get on their feet. Danny Trejo gets with almost every female in this movie and hacks at almost every bad guy with his ridiculously awesome Machete. Oh I forgot to mention that Lindsey Lohan was also in this as a drugged out spoiled daughter, which I thought was funny cause it wasn't too far from her real life. This movie is definitely not for everybody but if you like to see shit get blown up, crazy fight scenes and a semi serious plot with comedic relief throughout than this is right up your ally. Be aware there is a few nude scenes.
I did also get to go see the movie Bridesmaids in the theater which was hysterically funny and one I am buying on blue ray when it comes out. I was checking out trailers this morning and there looks like some fun stuff coming out. They remade Footloose which I'm not sure how I feel about and yet another Shrek spin off. This one is called Puss N Boots and compared to Shrek 4 might actually be funny. Also took some interest in 50/50 with Seth Rogen who I LOVE. About his friend who gets cancer. Anyhoo Lots of good stuff coming out.
Well my peeps I suppose I have rambled long enough. Time to get going and get something done around here. Stay sane and play nice! Kelley OUT!!
Fattness, Mulberries and New Goals
Hello,
Holy Crappolies, I have actually done three posts on my blog. Woot!
So this week in the totally fascinating life of me and mine, I will be talking about my fat ass, my fat mulberry tree and the new goals I have decided to set for myself.
I don't know if its the awesome weather, or the extreme pain my body has been in the last few weeks but I have decided to get back into shape. I am right now the fattest I have ever been in my life and don't exactly feel that great about it. I have made this goal a hundred times in the past but I have never been in this bad of shape before. Laying the 3ooosq feet of sod a couple weeks ago about killed me. I tweeked my neck, my back always hurts, and my planter facites in my left foot is at an all time high in the pain department, if I sit for any length of time it almost brings me to tears when I put pressure back on it. Sucks big time. Oh and my hands keep going numb when I try to knit. Awesome. Anyhoo I am usually not a whiny cry baby when it comes to pain, but I have never had this many things screwed up on me at once, and I am only 28 for cripes sake. I should be in great shape. That said I have tried to take steps in the right direction to get healthy again. I stopped drinking almost a month ago which is really good because I was up to drinking about four or five nights a week and was starting to go through WAY too much Sailor Jerry's. I guess I thought it was my treat for getting through another day of chaos, fights, chores and more chores, and the occasional screaming child. I ended up drinking more than usual one night and spent the evening curled up on the bathroom floor. I'm not proud of this and the next day after one of the worst hangovers I have EVER had I decided it was time to change. For me and more importantly for my boys. I do not want them growing up thinking they have an alcoholic for a Mom. I want them to have an energetic, fun, loving, and responsible Mommy.
The last month has been good being clean of those toxins but I noticed in the last month I replaced the booze with sugar in the evening. So instead of losing weight after quitting drinking, I have gained. Saweet. Well No MORE. I have decided to cut out the sweets and crap before bed and I am going to start working out again. I did my first session today on the Kinect. I figured I would start by 20 minute sessions everyday and work my way up. It kicked my ass but felt great afterward. So, anybody who reads this keep bugging me about how much I have lost because maybe that will be my motivator :-) Plus my husband said he would put the money up for the rest of my Tattoo to get done if I get down to my goal. So I have a little something to sweeten the deal. Here is a pic of my fat ass now. Hopefully thinner pics to follow.
Okay, on to other things. The stupid f#$%ing Mulberry tree out back has been puking berries all over my clean patio and it's driving me bonkers. We just got all the dirt taken care of in the back by laying sod and as soon as that was done the Mulberry tree goes into full mode dropping it's VERY purple berries all over the patio. The boys ride there trikes all over so you can imagine what thousands of purple berries look like squished all over brick. UGLY. Then it gets tracked into my house where all the white tile with white grout that someone was obviously smoking crack to install in close to 2000sq feet of house is. Anybody who knows me knows that I am a bit of a clean freak. Not nearly as much as some people but I do like things clean and tidy. This floor will be the death of me. I sweep, swiffer, mop and vacuum close to everyday. With two cats, one dog, two little boys, and two big railroad boys it almost has to be done that often. I will be doing everything I can to get this tree to NOT do this next year.
On to a lighter note. The last time Jeremy's mom was here she showed me the basics of knitting. I LOVE it so far and have slowly started learning more. Casting on, knit stitch, purl stitch, binding off. Totally peaceful to just relax and zone out while doing something crafty. I am also going to get our one empty room organized, cleaned out and set up for an Art/craft/reading room. Mommy's room :-) Like a man cave only prettier. I do Calligraphy and have not seriously practiced this for a long time. Sad because I love it. Hopefully if I can get my room together it will inspire me to start doing it again.
So in all this nonsense we are still doing our thing. Jeremy and Jared are working hard at the railroad, and I am on the front line here at the house. In the middle we are still slowly getting the yard fixed up, going to the beach when we can, gardening, and doing shadow puppets before bed. That's my life folks.
PEACE
Holy Crappolies, I have actually done three posts on my blog. Woot!
So this week in the totally fascinating life of me and mine, I will be talking about my fat ass, my fat mulberry tree and the new goals I have decided to set for myself.
I don't know if its the awesome weather, or the extreme pain my body has been in the last few weeks but I have decided to get back into shape. I am right now the fattest I have ever been in my life and don't exactly feel that great about it. I have made this goal a hundred times in the past but I have never been in this bad of shape before. Laying the 3ooosq feet of sod a couple weeks ago about killed me. I tweeked my neck, my back always hurts, and my planter facites in my left foot is at an all time high in the pain department, if I sit for any length of time it almost brings me to tears when I put pressure back on it. Sucks big time. Oh and my hands keep going numb when I try to knit. Awesome. Anyhoo I am usually not a whiny cry baby when it comes to pain, but I have never had this many things screwed up on me at once, and I am only 28 for cripes sake. I should be in great shape. That said I have tried to take steps in the right direction to get healthy again. I stopped drinking almost a month ago which is really good because I was up to drinking about four or five nights a week and was starting to go through WAY too much Sailor Jerry's. I guess I thought it was my treat for getting through another day of chaos, fights, chores and more chores, and the occasional screaming child. I ended up drinking more than usual one night and spent the evening curled up on the bathroom floor. I'm not proud of this and the next day after one of the worst hangovers I have EVER had I decided it was time to change. For me and more importantly for my boys. I do not want them growing up thinking they have an alcoholic for a Mom. I want them to have an energetic, fun, loving, and responsible Mommy.
The last month has been good being clean of those toxins but I noticed in the last month I replaced the booze with sugar in the evening. So instead of losing weight after quitting drinking, I have gained. Saweet. Well No MORE. I have decided to cut out the sweets and crap before bed and I am going to start working out again. I did my first session today on the Kinect. I figured I would start by 20 minute sessions everyday and work my way up. It kicked my ass but felt great afterward. So, anybody who reads this keep bugging me about how much I have lost because maybe that will be my motivator :-) Plus my husband said he would put the money up for the rest of my Tattoo to get done if I get down to my goal. So I have a little something to sweeten the deal. Here is a pic of my fat ass now. Hopefully thinner pics to follow.
Okay, on to other things. The stupid f#$%ing Mulberry tree out back has been puking berries all over my clean patio and it's driving me bonkers. We just got all the dirt taken care of in the back by laying sod and as soon as that was done the Mulberry tree goes into full mode dropping it's VERY purple berries all over the patio. The boys ride there trikes all over so you can imagine what thousands of purple berries look like squished all over brick. UGLY. Then it gets tracked into my house where all the white tile with white grout that someone was obviously smoking crack to install in close to 2000sq feet of house is. Anybody who knows me knows that I am a bit of a clean freak. Not nearly as much as some people but I do like things clean and tidy. This floor will be the death of me. I sweep, swiffer, mop and vacuum close to everyday. With two cats, one dog, two little boys, and two big railroad boys it almost has to be done that often. I will be doing everything I can to get this tree to NOT do this next year.
On to a lighter note. The last time Jeremy's mom was here she showed me the basics of knitting. I LOVE it so far and have slowly started learning more. Casting on, knit stitch, purl stitch, binding off. Totally peaceful to just relax and zone out while doing something crafty. I am also going to get our one empty room organized, cleaned out and set up for an Art/craft/reading room. Mommy's room :-) Like a man cave only prettier. I do Calligraphy and have not seriously practiced this for a long time. Sad because I love it. Hopefully if I can get my room together it will inspire me to start doing it again.
So in all this nonsense we are still doing our thing. Jeremy and Jared are working hard at the railroad, and I am on the front line here at the house. In the middle we are still slowly getting the yard fixed up, going to the beach when we can, gardening, and doing shadow puppets before bed. That's my life folks.
PEACE
Chaos, pain and the occasional sense of wonder
So lots going on right now. I guess I should quickly update first this for anybody that happens to stop by that is not my sister or husband. We did make the move to S. California, almost a year ago. (good lord I cant believe we have been here for that long and I am only now updating this) Jeremy took a job with The Fillmore and Western Railroad and so far loves it. Yay!! The people are awesome, the weather is a crazy change from N. Nevada, and we are 15 minutes from the ocean, which I love. I did have move shock for the first six months and was not sure about being here. The first three months here I was in depression mode. However slowly but surely I am making this place home. I just wish I had family closer. I miss everybody a lot and even more so when I need a brake from kids. Jeremy and I have not had a date night alone since before we left Nevada, going on a year. Just sad. Ohwell, I guess its time to teach Jared how to babysit. lol.
There are some concerns about being here long term, I worry about kids growing up in such a congested area. While we are considered in the country, I guess there is just a whole So Cal attitude I would like them to avoid. A place is just a place, its the people we surround ourselves with, and the experiences we have that will define us. I just want what every parent wants for their kid. You know, for them to grow up and not end up in jail or a debt on society. Only time will tell though eh.
We all seem to get sick a lot more here than we did in Nevada. I don't know if its just more people, or if our bodies are physically rejecting the idea of living in S. California...haha. Speaking of being sick Gavin goes in for a Urology check up in a week. We get to start the whole process over down here so that a new doctor can catch up with whats going on with my little Bubu's. So new ultrasounds, new consultations, follow ups, yadda yadda. I just want for him to be well, and I will save my rant about the medical system for another time.
I will say that the Gardner in me is rejoicing about living here. There is a whole new world that has opened up for me as far as plants and flowers. We have lemon trees, orange trees, pomegranate trees, avocado trees, walnut trees and many many more flowers and palms that make up my yard and the surrounding property. We moved into a house that belongs to the railroad that Jeremy works for. There is a business attached to us called the Loose Caboose. Very cool place that is part farmers market, part garden and gift center. They sell all sorts of fun stuff including Koi for fish ponds. The boys LOVE going over their and feeding the fish. The house was in pretty bad shape when we moved in, but a will and determination I think on all our parts has slowly put this place back to pride status. The biggest change is the 3000sq feet of sod we just put in for the back yard that was a huge dirt lot. They are having a big gathering of business peeps here tomorrow night and wanted the place looking nice for that. We have all been busting our asses to get ready for it. I will post pic of before and afters in the next couple days. I have done major damage on my neck from all the digging and pulling of weeds. Hopefully things will be back to normal in a few days cause it really hurts. I am currently sitting here on the couch typing this with a heating pad on my shoulder. Yes I am being a whiny cry baby because I can so, neah. My oldest is acting like he had crack for breakfast and has turned the couch I am sitting on into his personal trampoline...hang on. Okay better. I always wondered how my good friend Eliza with her three kids could seriously sit and read a book in the midst of complete chaos around her. She was like a Jedi mother. Everytime I hear Gavin's high pitched screech which is 95% of the time directly resulting from a toy being pulled out of his hands, I feel like I have little people inside my head scratching my brain with dull objects. Sometimes I feel like telling him to just pummel his older brother and take the toy back. I don't think that's in the parenting handbook though. I'm sure he will learn it soon enough and on his own. Back to my update. We have the house we are working on and doctors appointment coming up, a trip to Denver CO in July for Jeremy's grandmothers memorial service and then it is off to Portland Or to visit my sisters. Jeremy and I are splitting up and I am going to Portland with Gavin and Kedrick and him are taking Amtrak back. It will be good daddy time for Kedrick and it will be a brake for me only having one kid for a few days. Plus I get to visit my sisters. YAY!!!! I have not seen Kari in over a year. Boooooo. Way too long. It will be a crazy trip but kinda fun. After that on July 30th it will be Jeremy and I's fifth year anniversary. We have been together for ten years and married for five. Woot! :-) There are challenges but I love him and we have always pulled each other though. Anyway I have made dinner reservations in Hollywood to have dinner at one of Gordon Ramsey's restaurants. The benefits of living close to LA. Guess we should enjoy it.
I suppose that catches you up. I really should post more on this. I haven't even gone into detail about taking Gavin to the ER to get his arm put back into place from his brother yanking on it, or the time they were playing outside and I walked around the corner to find them, and they had climbed a ladder and were cruizin' around on the roof of the business next door. Oh, oh or the four day barf fest we all got to go though a few months back. Never before have I seen that much barf. I suppose you would find it interesting to know that Gavin gets major car sickness and barfs almost every time we are in the car longer than a half hour. It's like playing Russian roulette in the car.
Anyhoo everyday is an adventure around here at Chaos Ranch. Hopefully I will start to update this more so when specific things happen I can go into a wee bit more detail on stuff.
Peace!
There are some concerns about being here long term, I worry about kids growing up in such a congested area. While we are considered in the country, I guess there is just a whole So Cal attitude I would like them to avoid. A place is just a place, its the people we surround ourselves with, and the experiences we have that will define us. I just want what every parent wants for their kid. You know, for them to grow up and not end up in jail or a debt on society. Only time will tell though eh.
We all seem to get sick a lot more here than we did in Nevada. I don't know if its just more people, or if our bodies are physically rejecting the idea of living in S. California...haha. Speaking of being sick Gavin goes in for a Urology check up in a week. We get to start the whole process over down here so that a new doctor can catch up with whats going on with my little Bubu's. So new ultrasounds, new consultations, follow ups, yadda yadda. I just want for him to be well, and I will save my rant about the medical system for another time.
I will say that the Gardner in me is rejoicing about living here. There is a whole new world that has opened up for me as far as plants and flowers. We have lemon trees, orange trees, pomegranate trees, avocado trees, walnut trees and many many more flowers and palms that make up my yard and the surrounding property. We moved into a house that belongs to the railroad that Jeremy works for. There is a business attached to us called the Loose Caboose. Very cool place that is part farmers market, part garden and gift center. They sell all sorts of fun stuff including Koi for fish ponds. The boys LOVE going over their and feeding the fish. The house was in pretty bad shape when we moved in, but a will and determination I think on all our parts has slowly put this place back to pride status. The biggest change is the 3000sq feet of sod we just put in for the back yard that was a huge dirt lot. They are having a big gathering of business peeps here tomorrow night and wanted the place looking nice for that. We have all been busting our asses to get ready for it. I will post pic of before and afters in the next couple days. I have done major damage on my neck from all the digging and pulling of weeds. Hopefully things will be back to normal in a few days cause it really hurts. I am currently sitting here on the couch typing this with a heating pad on my shoulder. Yes I am being a whiny cry baby because I can so, neah. My oldest is acting like he had crack for breakfast and has turned the couch I am sitting on into his personal trampoline...hang on. Okay better. I always wondered how my good friend Eliza with her three kids could seriously sit and read a book in the midst of complete chaos around her. She was like a Jedi mother. Everytime I hear Gavin's high pitched screech which is 95% of the time directly resulting from a toy being pulled out of his hands, I feel like I have little people inside my head scratching my brain with dull objects. Sometimes I feel like telling him to just pummel his older brother and take the toy back. I don't think that's in the parenting handbook though. I'm sure he will learn it soon enough and on his own. Back to my update. We have the house we are working on and doctors appointment coming up, a trip to Denver CO in July for Jeremy's grandmothers memorial service and then it is off to Portland Or to visit my sisters. Jeremy and I are splitting up and I am going to Portland with Gavin and Kedrick and him are taking Amtrak back. It will be good daddy time for Kedrick and it will be a brake for me only having one kid for a few days. Plus I get to visit my sisters. YAY!!!! I have not seen Kari in over a year. Boooooo. Way too long. It will be a crazy trip but kinda fun. After that on July 30th it will be Jeremy and I's fifth year anniversary. We have been together for ten years and married for five. Woot! :-) There are challenges but I love him and we have always pulled each other though. Anyway I have made dinner reservations in Hollywood to have dinner at one of Gordon Ramsey's restaurants. The benefits of living close to LA. Guess we should enjoy it.
I suppose that catches you up. I really should post more on this. I haven't even gone into detail about taking Gavin to the ER to get his arm put back into place from his brother yanking on it, or the time they were playing outside and I walked around the corner to find them, and they had climbed a ladder and were cruizin' around on the roof of the business next door. Oh, oh or the four day barf fest we all got to go though a few months back. Never before have I seen that much barf. I suppose you would find it interesting to know that Gavin gets major car sickness and barfs almost every time we are in the car longer than a half hour. It's like playing Russian roulette in the car.
Anyhoo everyday is an adventure around here at Chaos Ranch. Hopefully I will start to update this more so when specific things happen I can go into a wee bit more detail on stuff.
Peace!
My thus far
Hello,
I am at stay-at-home mom as you may have guessed by my fantastically catchy title. I have two small boys, one three and the other one and a half. Kedrick my oldest is a typical three year old who likes to tear apart the furniture, terrorize the animals, steal toys from his little brother, and play outside, he is also quite fond of the word "No." My youngest, Gavin is a climber who likes to also terrorize the animals, tell on his brother when he steals a toy, and eat. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Even on my worst day when I want to scream and tear my hair out and wonder about God's sense of reproductive humor, do I still love them, and wouldn't give this gig up.
I always kinda knew the domestic gig was what I wanted. I have always been a homebody and a fierce family person. You know, that whole "Mess with my sister mess with me" type of person. I am from a divorced family since I was five. Both of my parents remarried, and while that probably had some profound effect on my subconscious I look at it now as just having a lot more family than most, and really that's a blessing. I have three sisters, and one brother, and I love them all.
I met my husband Jeremy when I was 18...Wow, that seems young when I think back on it. Anyway we were together for about seven years before we married though, and lived together for most of it, much to my mothers distress. I feel like that only helped us however because after living with someone that long, there is not really many surprises, and you can pretty much handle marriage. Jeremy wasn't really attached to the idea of kids which I knew would be a hurdle when we decided to go there but for the time we where happy to just get married. Jeremy took a job in Ely NV about a month before we were married so I spent the last month of singledom packing and getting the rest of the wedding details straitened out. The day after our wedding we spent packing and the second day after our wedding we spent moving to our new house in Ely NV. I loved that house, not the town as much but the house I loved. It was old and needed tons of work but I still loved it. We met some awesome new people in Ely who quickly became like extended family to me. Our roommate Jared who lived in our basement has become like a brother and has moved with us since. I really cannot imagine our life without him and I will cry the day he finds someone and moves out. About two months after moving to Ely I found out I was Pregnant, and yes if anybody want's to speculate, the magic happened on our wedding night, leaving people to wonder if we had truly saved ourselves for that special occasion. I can tell you, No. It was the giant glasses that held almost a full bottle of Champagne that we walked around with all night that probably did the trick. I don't think I even remembered my own name that evening. Anyhoo, there were definitely mixed emotions when we found out. Excited, worried, happy, scared. I think I felt them all. Regardless this little presence had made itself known and no matter what we felt we were gonna be parents come the end of April. Jeremy and I had a few struggles during my first pregnancy, mostly due to my hormones probably, but there was some resentment on my end. I couldn't go out and drink with anybody so I stayed home most of the time where as Jeremy was still wanting to go and socialize, especially with all these people that had become good friends. It's definitely true what they say about women becoming mothers when they find out they are pregnant but men don't become fathers until they hold their child in there arms for the first time. Kedrick was born on April 25, 2007 after three days in the hospital. I went in for a regular check up on Monday the 23rd and my blood pressure was out of control so my doctor admitted me and started to induce Monday afternoon. By Tuesday evening I was rolled into the labor room (there was only one labor room in the giant metropolis of Ely Nv) and at midnight was in danger of an emergency C-section because my blood pressure was not going down. I received my epidural about that time and within about 20 minutes my blood pressure was back to normal and they let me continue to labor. About 4 or 5 Wednesday morning my water broke and by about 9 in the morning I was pushing. It wasn't until about 1 oclock Wednesday afternoon that Kedrick finally came out, much to the delight of my completely worn out and exhausted body. I believe he was about 8lbs and 20 inches long. I cried, Jeremy cried, my mom cried, Jeremy's mom cried. It was a beautiful thing giving life and the last three days of labor and months of not sleeping well all went away when I stared into his scrunched up red little face. I knew Jeremy was hooked when Kedrick would wrap his little hand around his finger and not let go. Through the trials and tribulations of those first few months we all settled into a new routine. Kedrick was a great baby. Slept good, ate good. I never had any problems with him. I had his small crib in our room until he was about eight months old. I was a bit of a nervous nelly with the first one. We moved to Cheyenne WY when Kedrick was about 6 months old. Jeremy took a job out there with an independent Railroad contractor. I guess I should have mentioned earlier that my husband is a Steam Locomotive Mechanic/Restoration Specialist. We moved to Cheyenne right before winter set in. We only lived in Cheyenne for about six months. the beginning of April Jeremy got sent on a job back to the reno area where all our family is and where we met. I flew out with Kedrick and Jeremy drove. We were in Reno for about three or four days when his boss called him into the job they were supposed to be working on and fired him. Those were a bad few days after that. Away from home, with an almost one year old and now no work. Jeremy and I decided to go back to Cheyenne pack the house yet again and move back to the Reno area to be closer to family. In between all this mess I found out I was pregnant again on Kedrick's 1st birthday. Yay!! Me moved into my Mom and Stepdad's place in Fernley. It was kinda nice having family around and help with my second pregnancy. We spent a year at my Mom's. With the second pregnancy and the move we were struggling financially and just couldn't find anyplace worth it. Gavin was born on December 10, 2008, after a ridiculously easy labor compared to the first. Gavin is my little peanut and immediately captured us just as his brother had. Me moved out of my Mom's house and into Jeremy's folks place which they were trying to sell, because Jeremy's Dad was working in Arizona. We have been here for about a year. Jeremy has taken a job in Southern California and we will be relocating again within the next couple of months. I guess that about catches you up ;-) I am lucky to have great family around to support me and my husband who takes care of us. I love you all so much! I love that my husband and my three year old are BFF's and do everything together. It makes my job easier some days. I know that the next couple months are going to be a challenge. Jeremy and Jared are in California working and trying to find us a place to live and in the mean time the kids and I are still here in the Reno area living. Hopefully we can figure out the move soon. I don't like being apart and it's definitely not been easy on the kids.
I am at stay-at-home mom as you may have guessed by my fantastically catchy title. I have two small boys, one three and the other one and a half. Kedrick my oldest is a typical three year old who likes to tear apart the furniture, terrorize the animals, steal toys from his little brother, and play outside, he is also quite fond of the word "No." My youngest, Gavin is a climber who likes to also terrorize the animals, tell on his brother when he steals a toy, and eat. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Even on my worst day when I want to scream and tear my hair out and wonder about God's sense of reproductive humor, do I still love them, and wouldn't give this gig up.
I always kinda knew the domestic gig was what I wanted. I have always been a homebody and a fierce family person. You know, that whole "Mess with my sister mess with me" type of person. I am from a divorced family since I was five. Both of my parents remarried, and while that probably had some profound effect on my subconscious I look at it now as just having a lot more family than most, and really that's a blessing. I have three sisters, and one brother, and I love them all.
I met my husband Jeremy when I was 18...Wow, that seems young when I think back on it. Anyway we were together for about seven years before we married though, and lived together for most of it, much to my mothers distress. I feel like that only helped us however because after living with someone that long, there is not really many surprises, and you can pretty much handle marriage. Jeremy wasn't really attached to the idea of kids which I knew would be a hurdle when we decided to go there but for the time we where happy to just get married. Jeremy took a job in Ely NV about a month before we were married so I spent the last month of singledom packing and getting the rest of the wedding details straitened out. The day after our wedding we spent packing and the second day after our wedding we spent moving to our new house in Ely NV. I loved that house, not the town as much but the house I loved. It was old and needed tons of work but I still loved it. We met some awesome new people in Ely who quickly became like extended family to me. Our roommate Jared who lived in our basement has become like a brother and has moved with us since. I really cannot imagine our life without him and I will cry the day he finds someone and moves out. About two months after moving to Ely I found out I was Pregnant, and yes if anybody want's to speculate, the magic happened on our wedding night, leaving people to wonder if we had truly saved ourselves for that special occasion. I can tell you, No. It was the giant glasses that held almost a full bottle of Champagne that we walked around with all night that probably did the trick. I don't think I even remembered my own name that evening. Anyhoo, there were definitely mixed emotions when we found out. Excited, worried, happy, scared. I think I felt them all. Regardless this little presence had made itself known and no matter what we felt we were gonna be parents come the end of April. Jeremy and I had a few struggles during my first pregnancy, mostly due to my hormones probably, but there was some resentment on my end. I couldn't go out and drink with anybody so I stayed home most of the time where as Jeremy was still wanting to go and socialize, especially with all these people that had become good friends. It's definitely true what they say about women becoming mothers when they find out they are pregnant but men don't become fathers until they hold their child in there arms for the first time. Kedrick was born on April 25, 2007 after three days in the hospital. I went in for a regular check up on Monday the 23rd and my blood pressure was out of control so my doctor admitted me and started to induce Monday afternoon. By Tuesday evening I was rolled into the labor room (there was only one labor room in the giant metropolis of Ely Nv) and at midnight was in danger of an emergency C-section because my blood pressure was not going down. I received my epidural about that time and within about 20 minutes my blood pressure was back to normal and they let me continue to labor. About 4 or 5 Wednesday morning my water broke and by about 9 in the morning I was pushing. It wasn't until about 1 oclock Wednesday afternoon that Kedrick finally came out, much to the delight of my completely worn out and exhausted body. I believe he was about 8lbs and 20 inches long. I cried, Jeremy cried, my mom cried, Jeremy's mom cried. It was a beautiful thing giving life and the last three days of labor and months of not sleeping well all went away when I stared into his scrunched up red little face. I knew Jeremy was hooked when Kedrick would wrap his little hand around his finger and not let go. Through the trials and tribulations of those first few months we all settled into a new routine. Kedrick was a great baby. Slept good, ate good. I never had any problems with him. I had his small crib in our room until he was about eight months old. I was a bit of a nervous nelly with the first one. We moved to Cheyenne WY when Kedrick was about 6 months old. Jeremy took a job out there with an independent Railroad contractor. I guess I should have mentioned earlier that my husband is a Steam Locomotive Mechanic/Restoration Specialist. We moved to Cheyenne right before winter set in. We only lived in Cheyenne for about six months. the beginning of April Jeremy got sent on a job back to the reno area where all our family is and where we met. I flew out with Kedrick and Jeremy drove. We were in Reno for about three or four days when his boss called him into the job they were supposed to be working on and fired him. Those were a bad few days after that. Away from home, with an almost one year old and now no work. Jeremy and I decided to go back to Cheyenne pack the house yet again and move back to the Reno area to be closer to family. In between all this mess I found out I was pregnant again on Kedrick's 1st birthday. Yay!! Me moved into my Mom and Stepdad's place in Fernley. It was kinda nice having family around and help with my second pregnancy. We spent a year at my Mom's. With the second pregnancy and the move we were struggling financially and just couldn't find anyplace worth it. Gavin was born on December 10, 2008, after a ridiculously easy labor compared to the first. Gavin is my little peanut and immediately captured us just as his brother had. Me moved out of my Mom's house and into Jeremy's folks place which they were trying to sell, because Jeremy's Dad was working in Arizona. We have been here for about a year. Jeremy has taken a job in Southern California and we will be relocating again within the next couple of months. I guess that about catches you up ;-) I am lucky to have great family around to support me and my husband who takes care of us. I love you all so much! I love that my husband and my three year old are BFF's and do everything together. It makes my job easier some days. I know that the next couple months are going to be a challenge. Jeremy and Jared are in California working and trying to find us a place to live and in the mean time the kids and I are still here in the Reno area living. Hopefully we can figure out the move soon. I don't like being apart and it's definitely not been easy on the kids.
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